Brooklyn


The other day I was telling DBF that even though we’ve been our new apartment for a full month now, I still don’t really feel like I live here. I feel like I have to go back to the old 806 apartment still. It’s an odd feeling. It’s not like I feel when I’m in a hotel, and I feel slightly disoriented every time I walk in the door; it’s more subtle.

I can’t put my finger on why this is. Maybe it’s because we still have some boxes that aren’t totally unpacked. We’re about 85 percent unpacked, but a mixture of forces have prevented us from unpacking the rest. These forces mostly include waiting for the building storage unit to open up so we can stick all the stuff we had in storage into this storage. (I know it’s not good to squirrel away stuff just for the sake of keeping it, and I did throw out a good amount of stuff before we moved, but it’s hard. Dear God, it’s hard.) We’re also just holding off on purchasing the last few items of furniture. The big one still remaining is getting something to store all of my bags in (yes, I have that many). And shoes. Uh. Love having so many; hate having to store all of it. Shoes, shoes, shoes.

Shoes, shoes, shoes.

Ever since I was little, I’ve been afraid of sewing machines. Mom would occasionally whip her monster machine out and hem a pant or something, but she always approached sewing the way she’s approached cooking: knows how to do it, but would rather not.

The reason the sewing machine always scared me is that I’ve always pictured that ginormous needle going RIGHT THROUGH MY FINGER. I didn’t know that there’s a guard that prevents exactly that from happening. So I’ve always been a bit afraid of them.

But now, I’m ashamed to admit, TV has spurred me into action. See, I love Project Runway, and I finally stopped thinking, “If these idiots can sew, then I can too!” and did something about it. Last weekend, I took a sewing class at Home Ec. We learned the basics of sewing by sewing a bag. It took about three hours, and I came away from the class without any injuries. I think if I can learn to hem my own pants successfully, and even make some basic pieces of clothing, and perhaps a superhero cape for George, it will have been a $95 well spent.

I’m now looking for other easy projects to do; a duvet cover seems like a good idea. A coworker confirmed that a duvet cover really is as easy as sewing two sheets together and sticking on some buttons. And during a stroll in the new neighborhood yesterday, I realized that I’m in what seems to be Brooklyn’s garment district: there’s TONS of fabric stores on Coney Island Avenue!

So now I’m just looking for opportunities to use sewing machines more. I’m going to the Etsy Labs today to see if I can work on something without embarrassing myself.

So the T-shirt arrived, and Sunday afternoon, DBF proudly donned the shirt in preparation for our agreed-upon stroll down 7th Avenue in Park Slope. Unfortunately, a massive street fair was in full swing, which, at first, we thought would give the shirt even more viewing eyes. But alas, the allure of cheap jewelry, sketchy rides, and questionable food stalls distracted most of the parents from viewing the shirt. DBF says he got a few dirty looks as we walked along Sterling before we hit 7th Ave., but that’s about it. One guy laughed. Even the doofus waiter at Dizzy’s, who we overheard gushing to another table about his newborne, failed to say anything.

Park Slope, you disappoint me.

Since the desired effect was not achieved in Brooklyn, DBF will take the shirt to Burlington, to wear to a party in which many parents will be in attendance. He also might stage a mock confrontation with his best friend. He also might use his best friend’s child as a prop in which to spark confrontation with other unsuspecting parents. When it comes to unnecessarily pissing people off, DBF goes to great lengths.

Everyone has the right to free speech. Even stupid speech is protected. In the spirit of this, I’ve made a bet with DBF for him to wear this shirt while walking down 7th Avenue in Park Slope, Brooklyn, where the stroller mafiso reigns supreme. The shirt must be in full view (not covered by a jacket) and the walk must last for at least 30 minutes on a Saturday afternoon, when mommies and daddies are busy shepherding their offspring to and from the co-op and buying overpriced jumpers from the kiddie boutiques that line the street.

Are we asking to be chased down the street? Maybe. Perhaps subject to some angry comments? Probably. I’ll post reactions, given the DBF doesn’t chicken out when the moment of truth comes.

245799641_164940520e.jpgThis year’s Atlantic Antic street fair was less interesting than in previous years. Maybe I have a rose-colored recollection of past Antics, but this year was just filled with crappy street food vendors and cheap jewelry vendors (the kind of stuff you can get any day in SoHo or Union Square). I love mozzarepas (basically two arepas sandwiching a layer of and mozzarella cheese) as much as the next person, but what’s the point of a local festival if I can get food there that I can get at any dang street festival in the country?

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